Peanut M&M's

Well I have officially made it one week without any Peanut M&M's. The funny thing is that I really haven't had a craving for them until tonight when I got home from work. It is funny that the last time I had Peanut M&M's was last Tuesday night. Of course I am not going to give in to my temptation, which is part of the reason I am writing this right now. I figure if I post this on my blog I am accountable to all of you that are reading this! So I don't want to let anyone down! I can not give into this crazy craving!

I Can't Wait!

I am going down to San Diego for the weekend and I can't wait. A few posts ago I wrote about how there are two cities I love. San Diego and Salt Lake. I was just in Salt Lake a few weeks ago and now I get to go to San Diego. I leave Thursday night and come back Sunday night. I am flying so I hope my flight doesn't get delayed on the way there. I am too excited and I would die if I had to wait a minute longer than necessary to arrive. I am going to attend a single adult conference in Huntington Beach too. It is for ages 27-40 so that is right in my age group. I am going with my friend Jamie. I am really excited to see her and hang out. These past two days have been busy for me. I have been working like crazy. I worked a little over 12 hours today. Tomorrow will be the same! I can't wait for my mini vacation this weekend.

Look At Me Now...

It is always funny to me when you see before and after pictures of people who have lost weight. They always seem to have the same type of pose with their hands on their hips, one leg sticking out a bit, and they do it. Well today I was having Gideon take some pictures of me before church. I just did this pose and when I saw it I had to laugh. I was doing the same pose that all these people do when they have lost their "goal" weight. I still have 38 more pounds to go. But here is the picture of me doing a weight loss pose.
I just got this dress Friday night. Bet you can't guess where I got it? Macy's of course. Big Surprise! I got a killer deal on it. It was originally $119 and I got it for $30. Anyway, I have to thank Rebekah because she gave me a gift certificate to Macy's for Christmas. I have been holding onto it since then waiting for the perfect outfit to use it on. Well, since I have been losing this weight so quickly I have a rule with myself. I can't spend more than $20 on any item of clothing. I usually don't get to wear it too much before it becomes to big on me. I honestly try and stick between $10-$15 on each garment, but I have set $20 as the top amount. With Macy's it is easy to find things that cheap because they have sales every weekend. I just have to buy when something is on clearance for 50% off and then they usually will have a sale of take an extra 40% off. I know I have gone through all this in previous posts, but I seriously get the best deals. I go often enough that I know what I want and all I have to do is wait for it to go on sale. Well I am proud to say that on Friday night I got to shop exclusively in the normal woman's section. Goodbye, PLUS SIZES! It felt so good not to have to go up to the third floor where the PLUS sizes and shoved in a corner next to the dishes!! Anyway, I back to thanking Rebekah since she gave me that gift certificate and I really wanted this dress I was able to use it and not go over my $20 budget. In fact I bought two dresses because once I used Rebekah's gift certificate they ended up being only $15 each. Right in line with my budget. :) The other dress is the same brand and style just a different pattern. It is just as wild as the one above and I love it!

Weight Loss - Still losing...

I haven't made a post about my weight loss in a long time. I had a weigh in appointment today and I have lost another 4 pounds! I seriously was surprised because I thought for sure I would have had a gain. I have now lost a total of 62 pounds and I still am working out on a regular basis.
WARNING - I know I have a tendency to RAMBLE on and on. As I am sure you have discovered in previous posts. Well this post below is clearly a RAMBLE so I just want you to be aware.
Confession Time: Peanut M&M's
I have had a hard time the past few weeks though with my weight loss. I still have been pretty strict, however I decided one day to have some peanut M&M's. And I have just been out of control with them ever since. The first 50 pounds that I lost, I was as you all know as strict as anyone could possibly be on this diet. I still had the cravings for sweats, but I didn't really have cravings for anything else. I would go days craving a candy bar, it would drive me crazy. But I stuck to my plan and after a few days I would be fine. Well, once I got to my 50 pound mark, I started to think "I can have a little something". I battled for a week about it. I mean I know how I am and I am so extreme. For me it is all or nothing, it is black or white, their is no gray area. That is just how I am. How do you think I lost 50 pounds in a little over 3 months? Anyway, I was reading in the book from Dr. Hendricks about the Glycemic Index and how making "choices" on food based on that. To make it simple, everything is based on an index or measurement of the effect that food has on your blood sugar. White bread is given a number of greater than 100% which is a rapid inducer, which is the worst choice. He lists a bunch of Carbs that fall into that category. As far as I am concerned I want to stay away from those for the rest of my life. Then he lists some Moderate Inducers with a Glycemic Index between 50-80%. Finally he lists some Reduced Inducers, which are the best choice. They have a Glycemic Index of 30-50%. On there he notes that it would be a better choice to choose Peanut M&M's over just plain milk chocolate because the high fat content, with the peanuts (protein) will retard the rate of absorption in to the body. So, since I lost my 50 pounds, I decided that it would be o.k. to choose to have some peanut M&M's. I was so nervous about doing this because I know how I am and I was worried I would go way overboard. Of course I was right. So I went a bought a little bag of peanut M&M's. They tasted so good! I felt like I had never tasted anything so good. I went a few days and decided to buy some more. This time I got a one pound bag. BIG MISTAKE, I didn't just have one handful, I had a couple. As time went on, I just kept buying them and the bottom line is, I now eat at least 1/2 pound of peanut M&M's each day. I know that it isn't good to do that. Even though in my mind it was the best choice, I know that Dr. Hendricks intention was not for me to eat a 1/2 pound everyday!!!!!!! Give me a break! So, then I have had to deal with the guilt I have been feeling. I wake up in the morning upset with myself that I gave into the temptation. Not only did I give into the temptation, but that I would go so out of control with it. So all day I would stick to my diet. Then when I got home I would just crave the Peanut M&M's like crazy. In the past (the first 50 pounds) I would have cravings, but I wouldn't give in. Now I was at a point where I wouldn't fight it much. I would try and talk myself out of it, go for a walk, or do something else to try and get my mind off of it. Then I would become irritable and I would just give in. When I would eat the peanut M&M's I just had this feeling of relief. I mean it is like I am an alcohalic or a drug addict and I needed a fix. As soon as I got it, I was fine. I was fine the rest of the night. It wasn't until morning time that I had the guilt. Well, I was so eager for my appointment today. I really needed to be put back on track. My last appointment was on 3/28 and I am supposed to go every two weeks. However, with being out of town and my hectic schedule I just couldn't fit it in. Anyway, I got on the scale and realized I had lost 4 pounds. Granted it had been three weeks since my last weigh in appointment, and I have had weeks where I lost 4 pounds in one week, I was still grateful that I hadn't gained 10 pounds! I am sure that why I didn't gain and even lost is because I have still been very consistent with my working out and very consistent the rest of the time on my diet. Thank goodness for that. Anyway, when I met with Stacia she asked how the diet was going. I told her about my Peanut M&M problem and told her that she needs to chastise me. That is what it is going to take for me to stop eating them. She told me that I wasn't supposed to be having the Peanut M&M's period. That list is for people who are on the maintenance program. I am still on the very low calorie diet. Well, that was all I needed to hear about that. Peanut M&M's are out the door. I can't have them, and that is all there is to it. I know that next week is going to be hard because I will suffer withdrawals from them. But I can do it. I have all the tools I need and I just need to make up my mind that I am not going to do it. She said some other really nice things that made me feel really good. She told me that I have been so successful with this diet and there is no reason for me not to meet my goal in a few months. I just have to stay as focused as I was the first 50 pounds and I can do it. I told her I am happy with the way I look and feel now. Then she said "Well think of how happy you will be when you are another 40 pounds lighter" That is true, I know that in 40 pounds from now I am going to look back at pictures I took recently and think I look so huge in them. So I am sure the reason why I haven't really said much about my weight loss on my post for the past month is because of those darn Peanut M&M's and I just didn't feel like writing anything about it. I guess in a way I felt ashamed and embarrassed that I failed. In all reality I didn't fail, I am still losing weight, I am still going to continue to lose weight, and I don't know why I feel like I always have to please everyone. I talked to Stacia about how when I wanted the Peanut M&M's I wasn't hungry. I just wanted them. She said that even when I meet my goal, I need to be aware of why I am eating. I know I am an emotional eater. What I need to do, is find out why. I mean I have my idea's, but I just need to turn my focus onto other things. I know I have a problem, I just don't know how to solve it. I may need to go to counselling over it. I am serious, I really need to overcome it and conquer this weakness that I have. I have proven to myself that I can use self control. I have proven to myself that when I put my mind to something and set a goal I can do it. I have to remember the amazing progress I have made. I have to remember that I have lost a huge amount of weight in such a short amount of time. It hasn't been easy. It has been so hard, but it has been so rewarding emotionally, physically, and mentally. I have to stay focused on the positive and not let this little slow down in my weight loss get me down.
So anyway, I am getting refocused and am banning myself from Peanut M&M's. WISH ME LUCK!

Slumber Party

I had Sarah and Kate spend the night on Saturday night. We had so much fun. The most exciting thing was that I got a flat iron for straightening hair that I won off of E-bay. I have been wanting one for a long time, but they kind I want is over $100. Never could quite bring myself to pay that much. One time I did buy one and ended up returning it because I felt too guilty spending that much on a hair appliance. Anyway, I won one on e-bay for about $25. So that arrived on Saturday, just in time for our slumber party. Both Sarah and Kate have naturally curly hair. As they have gotten older it isn't quite as curly, but it still is on the ends and they both have a wave to their hair. Anyway, I did my hair first. They loved it, so I did theirs.

Sarah was nextGideon was the photographer. When I was downloading all my pictures I saw Gideon took this picture of himself. He will probably be mad that I put this on my blog, but oh well. That is what you get for not deleting the picture! Ha, Ha! Gideon is such a good sport :)

The final result

After I finished there hair it was nearly 10:00! Time for bed.

They were so excited because they got to sleep on the Heida Bed (sp?). I ended up laying down with them and fell asleep myself. So all three of us slept on the Heida bed and it was pretty comfortable.

This picture is of the girls Sunday morning. Cute, Cute, Cute!

Why Am I Still Up?

It is almost 11:15 p.m. I worked a 12hr day today and I have to work a 12hr day tomorrow too. I have to be at work at 6:30 tomorrow morning. So any sane person would be in bed by now. But not me!! I am posting these pictures of my apartment so you can "see" why I have been so behind on my blogging.
Here is a picture of the lovely white walls that always seem to be in apartments. I can't stand it.

My bedroom waiting to be painted. Looks like a morgue...

Dining Room

Here is Gideon and his friend Alan painting. Actually Gideon is "supervising" :)

My bedroom - bright yellow! Wow I didn't think it would be this bright, but I like it. I was going to do three walls this color, but with the color so bright I decided to only do two walls yellow, two walls white.

I love the two colors I did in the living room and dining room. I did 3 walls in the darker brown and then 1 wall in a slightly lighter brown.

It is hard to see the difference in color in these pictures. It is slight, but noticeable. Especially in the daylight.

The guest bathroom. You can tell I love yellow!

I haven't finished my bathroom yet. I am going to do it in a dragonfly theme most likely. I will post pictures once I am done decorating my bathroom and my bedroom. I just posted the picture of my bedroom so you could see the color I selected.

Day 6 - Monday 4/2

Andrea, Jason, and their kids left on Monday. It was a bummer to see them go. I had to laugh at Jason packing up the car. They had bought a painting and it took up a lot of room, so it was tough to fit everything in.

Once again I tried to get a picture of all the kids together. Wasn't too successful. Maybe if I take all the pictures that I attempted and have George photoshop them, I may get one where everyone is actually smiling and looking at the camera.

Most of the pictures I took of Anna she has a goofy face. She is so funny! I love this picture of Emma. This right before they all loaded up in the car.

After Andrea and her family left we all went back inside Bekah's house and just hung out. We decided that we should go on a picnic for dinner and then go visit Grandmother and Granddaddy Gerstner. Of course I wanted to experience another childhood memory so we went to Tanner Park.

Unfortunately they had removed the wood bridge playground that was there when I was a child. So I was a little bummed about that.

The girls enjoyed playing. Nya loved the slide. Notice the huge bruise on her forehead. Earlier in the day she fell off the couch onto the hardwood floor. Poor thing. So all the pictures I have of her from now on she has that huge bruise.

It was great for Sarah to spend some time visiting with Grandmother and Granddaddy Gerstner.

My Aunt Lettie and Uncle Steve where there too. We had a great time visiting.

Day 4 & Day 5 (3/31 & 4/1)

On Saturday 3/31 we had a full day. I didn't really take any pictures though. Me, Andrea, Rebekah, Staci, Katya, and Emma all went to my cousin Jennifer's Bridal shower. It was good to see a lot of my extended family. Jethro took Lily, Jack, Nya, and Anna to go pick up Gideon at the airport. Then they all went to the park. Jason took Eli and Jonah skiing. That night Matt cooked up a great Mexican Barbeque. It was so good. He had all of his family over and there were a ton of kids around. It was great! They all had a lot of fun playing with each other. Sarah became good friends with Dayjanerah (I know I spelled her name wrong), who is Matt's sisters daughter.

On Sunday we went over to my cousin Kiristen's house. I can not believe I didn't take any pictures while I was there!!! That is so unlike me. We had a good time.

Hogle Zoo (Day 3 - 3/30)

A fond childhood memory of mine was going to the Hogle Zoo. Many times we went with my Aunt Dawn's family. It was a lot of fun. I figured since so many of my nieces and nephews were together I could create a fun memory for them. I suggested that we all go to the Hogle Zoo. It was pretty cold and I was freezing the entire time. Very unusual for me, but I guess since I have lost so much weight I didn't have my usual "blubber" to keep me warm.
There were quite a few things that had been updated since the last time I was there about 20 years ago. Although the place where they have a little tropical rain forest inside is just the same. It seemed so much smaller than I remembered it, but that is probably because I was a lot smaller myself. The biggest highlight at the zoo was Jack and the peacock. He kept yelling "Peacock" in this high shrill and each time he did the peacock spread its feathers. It was great.

Another big hit was this sculpture of an elephant. When you got close to its trunk it would blow air and make all kinds of sounds. The kids had so much fun getting it to make these crazy sounds and blow air. The first time it happened it scared Lily half to death. But, in no time at all everyone was laughing. I don't know if this picture will enlarge or not when you click on it. But if you can see Lily's face it is so funny. She looks so terrified because she wasn't expecting the elephant to make a noise.

One of my favorite pictures of Katya. This was inside the Giraffe house. She was as happy as could be.It was nearly impossible to get a picture of all the kids together. This is the best I could do!

Andrea loves this picture because she thinks she and Jason look like Brangelina. It is does kind of look like it could be them.

I have never seen a sign like this before. I didn't know that Tigers could SPRAY! I know to be aware of the Gorilla's, but who knew you had to watch out for Tigers too!

Staci, Katya, and Nya posing on Tigers.

Day 2 (3/29)

We all woke up early and got ready for the day. Sarah just couldn't keep her hands off of Daisy. Daisy is the most calm and patient dog I know.
We went outside and everything had a thin blanket of snow.
I had an appointment with a plastic surgeon and we had to drop Sarah and Nya off at Staci's before the apartment. Sarah was really excited to see Nya and hold her.

Nya loves to hold Katya too...

After my appointment with the plastic surgeon we went back to Staci's and hung out for a little while and then went back to Rebekah's. We got a phone call shortly thereafter from Andrea and they were only an hour away. We were so excited for Andrea's family to arrive.