Tuesday, February 13, 2007

An Answer To My Prayer

So it has been awhile since I had a post. I have been way too busy with work and have been fighting off some "sick bug". I haven't really had anything too exciting to report. Unfortunately since I haven't been feeling well, it has been hard to get my workout in. Usually, if I am really tired, I still workout and once I get going I am fine. But ever since last Friday I have been so achy. It is like I am coming down with the flu, but it hasn't hit. Only problem is, it has been almost 5 days and I still am achy. On Friday I worked a long physical day, so I figured my workout was work. On Saturday morning I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and couldn't fall back asleep, so at 6:30 I got up and decided to work out before work rather than after work. I got out of bed and my body ached, but I knew I needed to get moving. NO SLACKING if I am going to continue to meet my goal of 3.5 pounds a week in weight loss. It was pouring rain outside and I borrowed some of Georges rain gear and was out the door. Only problem, my legs weren't moving as fast as my brain. I couldn't do my normal walk :( I only made it around the block. But at least I made an attempt.

Sunday, I got up and felt a little nauseous. I went to church, but left early. I came home and took a nice long 4 hour nap. That night I forced myself to go walking. But instead of it taking me 45 min to go 4 miles, it took me 45 min to go 2 miles. Hey, at least I went and I was happy about that. Monday I worked yet another 12 hour day. I was so "achy" again and was getting discouraged. I felt like I hadn't been able to get a good work out in and I was feeling it. I was starting to feel "fat". Not a good thing. I didn't want to start in on the negative self talk. That is the worst thing I could do. In fact I think the negative self talk is worse than eating some ice cream. I know that negative self talk is nothing but destructive. I knew I wasn't feeling well, but I started to think that I was in a funk! No Fun!I went tanning after work. That is always a good thing for me because it forces me to actually lay still for 12 minutes. I can't get interrupted by a ton of people, the phone isn't ringing off the hook, I am not having a million things going on around me. I love tanning, it is seriously the only 12 minutes of the day that is all about me! Gosh I feel like a Mom who cherishes her time in the bathroom with the door locked :). Anyway, as I was tanning I was thinking about what I could do to get out of my funk. I wanted to workout but I physically was too tired. I got home and had my spinach salad. With in a few minutes I realized that "24" was starting! I was so excited because it was a special 2 hour episode. I actually watched in "live" rather than on the DVR. Usually I can't handle the suspense of waiting through the commercials, but somehow last night I survived. It was SOOOOOOOO GOOD! I love that show! After "24" I went straight to bed. I said a quick prayer and just basically said "help me to get over this funk". It was barely a prayer, but I was so exhausted. I seriously think I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.

This morning I woke up and faced another 12 hour work day. I got up after "snoozing" for about 1/2 hour. When I got to work I still didn't feel great. I was wearing my favorite "skinny" outfit and all my co-workers were complementing me. Asking if I had weighed in again and thinking I had lost another 10 pounds. I even think I said to a few co-workers that I felt "fat". One even responded "Amy, that is not like you to say something like that". That kind of gave me a slap in the face. I mean I realized that this negative self talk is creeping back in. I said to myself "I have to fight this. I am strong, I am doing what is right for my body, and I have to succeed" I just kept repeating this in my mind for the next hour or so. Little did I know, that within a few minutes, my prayer would be answered. One of my regular customers that I used to see all the time came walking in the door. He is one of the happiest people I know and is always smiling. I think the last time I saw him was before I started my diet! Anyway, right away he said "Amy, have you lost some serious weight?" I said that I had and told him what I was doing. He was so pleased and just couldn't get over how good I looked. I told him I was almost to my 1/2 way point and he couldn't believe I still need to lose another 55 pounds to meet my personal goal. It just felt so good to tell him that I still have a way to go. He said, "If you lose another 55 pounds, you will only weigh like 100 pounds. That can't be healthy". I had to laugh. I even shocked myself at what I said next. I flat out told him that I was 262 pounds when I started and now I am 220 (at last weigh in). He said he didn't believe I weigh over 200 pounds. But I do, and I am not ashamed of that. I feel great, I look great, and I can not believe I told a customer how much I weigh!!! AHHHHH! Random, but he is so nice and he is so impressed with what I have done that I just didn't care. I am proud of myself and I want everyone to know that. The thing is that he got me out of my funk. Here I was feeling so "fat" and letting the negative self talk take over my body. I just needed someone to get me back to reality. I know I hear it from my co-workers and I am thankful for that, but here came Mark, who hasn't seen me for a couple of months and was really amazed. I knew that my prayer was answered. Once again, I proved to myself that I can't do everything on my own. Often times I need help from my Heavenly Father and all he is doing is just waiting for me to ask.


Reuel said...

Dear Amy
I get scared when I know you are low. I love you and am glad you are feeling better. keep up the good work i love you
Dad and Ana

Lucy said...

I'm glad you are feeling better. Thanks for being willing to share the lows as well as the highs.